Reading the Charlotte Sun Newspaper

In the old days, stories too long for the space allotted were cut from the bottom , giving rise to the tradition that reporters organize information in what came to be known as the inverted pyramid. Give the important stuff first (the 5-W lede), with details to follow. Today’s headline on the Dear Abby column is an perfect example. The word “etiquette” is too long for the space. Cut off the end, all those repetitive “t’s,” and voila! a fit!

This led the police blotter yesterday morning. Why would any responsible reporter or editor run four paragraphs about “a scam” that “a woman reported” and then in the fourth paragraph report the whole thing is an urban legend?

Credit card scams at gas pumpsards at gas pumps. (Which law enforcement authorities? Judge Judy? Where in the story does the reporter describe how to be careful using credit cards at gas pumps?)

A scam that has been reported recently as gas prices rise involves a customer using his credit or debit card at the pump, getting gas, taking the receipt and then driving off. (Who reported the scam recently? Where in Our Little Town did this happen? What’s the scam in getting gas, taking the receipt and driving off? What’s the relationship between rising gas prices and the scam?)

If the customer does not hit the “clear” button on some pumps, it may be possible for the next customer to continue to pump gas under the same credit card, even though a receipt for the first delivery has already been issued. (It may be or IS? How does this happen? Which are “some” pumps: Shell or BP or Murphy Oil? Where’s the “clear button” on a fuel pump?)

One area woman said she checked her account Wednesday morning, only to find someone had gotten $30 worth of gas, using her debit card, within eight minutes of her purchase. She had received her receipt but did not push “clear.” She believed another person came after her and pumped gas using her account. (Which area woman? Does she have a name and address? “Wednesday” says this happened July 30 in Our Little Town.)

Snopes.com, an Internet “urban legend” site, said pressing “clear” does not do anything and the transaction is completed as soon as you hang up the dispenser. (YOU?)

Law enforcement authorities remind people to be careful when using credit carda.

Far more common, however, is the use of “skimmers,” electronic devices that read information about an account from the magnetic strip. Skimmers can be installed and later retrieved. (If skimmers are the real problem, why bury the info in the fifth graf? What does a skimmer look like? How can one avoid using a skimmer? Have any been found locally?)

In any case, your best protection is to remain vigilant and check the status of your accounts frequently.

The general manager of the DeSoto Sun writes a column this morning praising a large, metal-sided, tin-roofed building. It’s essentially an indoor arena for horse shows, concerts and the occasional boxing match promoted by the general manager himself. He writes: “Over the years, this first-class facility has seen a grand assortment of venues held inside its walls.”

Venue does not mean event. It means locale, place, site. The civic center is the venue; its walls cannot hold an assortment of venues, grand or otherwise. The misuse is sort of like saying the Atlantic “sees a grand assortment of oceans inside its shores.”

The writer calls the land surrounding the tin arena “spectacular.” Spectacular describes Disney World — a spectacle. Spectacular does not accurately identify flat, mown cow pasture with nary a tree or hill in sight. It does, however, make something of a spectacle of the writer and editors.

The writer also opines that the building has the “potential for … entertainment for practically every conceivable event imaginable.” Surely the colliding modifiers in this little train of words would awaken an editor? If not, the over-wrought hyperbole might rouse him/her from the land of Nod? Not at the DeSoto Sun, where “editor” is a pay grade, not a job description.

Apostrophes have a long and intimidating name, one might argue. But their two real-world applications in Standard American English are quite simple: they show possession when hooked to a real or implied “s,” or they show contraction by pointing to a missing letter. Don’t be afraid to use them. Otherwise, you could end up with a plural where none is intended.

Local English Teachers Weep …

The Lake Placid Journal reporter who writes about a math and writing teacher this week manages to produce this:

Loweke applied decimal lyrics to her students favorite song as a learning and fun tool. “Each department at the Lake Placid Middle School is working on students writing skills, even in math,” Loweke said. Students are taught to write their own math-skill problems, teachers write real life problems for the students to solve and Loweke incorporated a progressive extra credit build up for the students using math in real life opportunities.

Loweke is convinced if all teachers help each other in their educating skills that with time the school district will encourage each teacher to do the right thing with regard to the students at hand.

[Her school principals] let her explore new learning options for her challenged students as long as the State Sunshine mandates are met and are also totally interested in the results. — Jana Lynn Filip. Totally.

Readers totally like it when someone who writes about writing and communicating is able to do both.

Even the newspaper’s most senior writer doesn’t bother to get his pronouns straight: “We’ve just returned from an adventure that took Cindy and I on a city hopping vacation.” — Mat Delaney, associate editor

Nice work, Mat. Remember, children might be reading this.

… so who cares? Certainly no one cares enough to proofread the work of the page-designing kids at the Charlotte Sun-Herald. The designer’s deck identifies Little Soft Spring. The cutline and copy identify it as Little Salt Spring. The guidebooks call it Little Salt Spring. It’s a local feature, not some place exotic and far away.

For some reason, the writer capitalizes “spring” whenever she refers to the body of water in a general way, and no copy editor caught that, either. (After naming the Peace River, even Charlotte Sun writers don’t refer to the River, capitalized.) The strangest part is, most writers, by the time they’re grown-up, high-paid reporters, have learned the difference between proper and generic references in their copy.

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Reading this headline arouses certain expectations. None of those expectations are met. Readers who hope to learn where “everywhere” is and what business opportunties exist there find themselves slogging through a badly worded report about Robert Gereg wanting to sell hurricane-rated modular buildings (that he hasn’t produced yet) and the DeSoto chapter of Score giving a free workshop on business planning.

Where exactly are those business opportunities? It’s a big secret.

“Young football players were out in the sweltering heat practicing without pads Saturday morning at Richard Bowers Stadium. They were preparing for the coming DeSoto County Youth Athletic Association football season. The association set up a football clinic to work on basic football skills for youngsters who have signed up for football.
[... snip ...]
The drills went on until noon, then coaches held a meeting with parents to discuss the season with the parents.”

For the skinny on “Goin’ head to head,” see the professor.
For one reporter’s understanding of the church-state separation issue, read below the fold.
Read the rest of this entry »

The Dunn-Rankin ranks have been trying to put a good face on the economic downturn by running lots of stories in their newspapers recently that tell readers things aren’t as bad as everyone else makes out. Of course, readers aren’t stupid and most probably ignore the boosterism, seeing it for what it is.

But clearly, the headline writers got management’s memo, and they’re willing to play along. The deck on today’s top story from Our Little Town: “DeSoto building activity shows some signs of recovery.”

Unfortunately for journalism, readers can read the six-graf masterpiece all day without once stumbling on the word “recovery” or any hint of the idea. Neither is there any effort by the reporter to compare the news — county commisioners approve three commercial development plans — with same-time-last-year data or even last-month or last-quarter figures.

At a real newspaper, a sharp-eyed editor would demand: Recovery from what, exactly? and then bounce the hed or the story (should be both) back for a rewrite.

But there seems to be no sharp copy editor around to do that — or at least not one to willing to buck the memo. As a result, a headline unsupported by the story delivers a false impression of the news while giving readers a specific look at the biases and carelessness that govern The Daily Excuse.

For Old Word Wolf’s take on today’s X-rated banner, you’ll have to read below the fold. Read the rest of this entry »

Jim Mitchell, who has owned Heartland Tires for about three years, said he is “all about honest work that will leave people satisfied,” and has earned some lifelong customers by doing so. — Never Tire of Having Heart by Dana Abbott, DeSoto Sun, July 8, 2008.

…if you’re a toddler.

The newspaper has fewer people to do more work. So it’s logical to inject a “labor intensive” page, right?

That’s exactly how the publisher describes “Florida Report” in his June 29 column: “a very labor-intensive process.” He never gets around to telling readers what makes it so, but it’s evident those arrows darting across the page may be part of the intensity. If nothing else, they create so many more ways for the Sun to screw up.

Take today’s page, for example. The headline says, “Tiffany art to be shown in Winter Park.” The dateline clearly says WINTER PARK. And yet the arrow boldly aims at the eastern reaches of Interstate 75, near Miramar. Winter Park and the museum of the story are accessed from Interstate 4, a bit southwest of Orlando. It was too labor intensive to look it up.

The Lehigh Acres story arrow points to a large blank spot on the map north of Naples — no city listed there. It was too labor intensive to set a bit of extra type to overlay the map.

The Oldsmar story is from a cute little village perched on the north shore of Tampa Bay, across the water from Safety Harbor. The arrow directs readers to an unidentified inland spot 40 miles north of Tampa. It was too labor intensive to be accurate.

Back when we sailed around the Caribbean, Old Word Wolf and her mate occasionally stumbled on cartoon maps — the kind touristy restaurants print on paper placemats. A good many of them warned “Not To Be Used for Navigation.” That always gave us a giggle. (We’re approaching a new harbor just after sunset and coral heads dot the entrance; the captain barks, “Hand me the fricking placemat!”)

The Sun should give a similar fair warning. But that would be labor intensive.

Let’s not overlook yesterday’s front-page giggle … Read the rest of this entry »

She’s 22-year-old woman who has graduated from a large state university and is headed to a prestigeous dental school.

Yet in the eyes of DeSoto Sun headline editors, she’s a “girl.” How cute. How wrong.