Silly Lede o’ the Day

Mention the numbers “90210” and most adults will recall the hit FOX TV series “Beverly Hills 90210.” But it’s likely those same people would draw a blank if asked what the numbers 5-2-1-0 stand for. — Brooky Brown, Venice Gondolier.

Silly 1: “most adults” to most adults — and to journalists who care about accurate, precise reporting — means a majority of grownups. Pardon me, but I’m skeptical. And even if I’m wrong, I’d like to know what survey Brooky took to arrive at this sweeping generalization.

Silly 2: The second sentence is a non sequitur. It doesn’t follow. It has no logical, emotional, social, geographical, biological, economic or philosophical relationship to the prior sentence. Whether people remember a television show with a number in its title is unrelated to whether they know what 5-2-1-0 stands for.

Silly 3: The numbers are not in the same format, which might have passed for a semblence of semblence. One number is five digits attached to a geographical location. The other is four digits separated by dashes attached to nothing.

Please, whenever an irrelevant pop-culture reference, served up with a sweeping generalization, appears in your copy, use the delete key before you use the send key. Readers want news, not the frazzled associations of a TV junkie.

Navigating Florida — The Charlotte Sun Way

One assumes Charlotte Sun‘s newsroom is equipped with an atlas and it has a page or two devoted to Florida. That good book may even be somewhere near the copy desk, where those fact-driven, accuracy fiends called copy editors regularly thumb the pages to check on stuff, like where Pensacola is.

Oh? You say that page was ripped out years ago, and now the best you can do is guess where Pensacola is? Well, then, no free beer for us, because the Charlotte Sun map man points us 250 miles east of where that fair city was last reckoned.

Wiki-Plagiarist Writes Local "Cover Story"

Sun Staff Writer John Lawhorne — the man who brought the art of the agenda-rewrite to new lows — landed on the cover of the local entertainment insert today. A rock band, 38 Special, is due to hit town next week. So Lawhorne hit Wikipedia.

Most of the last two legs of type, readers will note, sound very like the entry posted in that repository of all modern knowledge.

Here’s the comparison. Newspaper first. Wikepedia second:

John Lawhorne: In the early 1980s, the band began incorporating elements of blues-rock and arena rock into their sound. A string of successful albums and singles followed.
Wikipedia: By the early 1980s, the band began incorporating elements of blues-rock and arena rock into their sound, kicking off a string of successful albums and singles.

John Lawhorne: Best-known songs by the group include “Caught Up in You” (1982) and “If I’d been The One” (1983). Both songs hit number one on the Billboard magazine’s album rock chart.
Wikipedia: Among 38 Special’s best-known songs are “Caught Up in You” (1982) and “If I’d Been the One” (1983), both of which hit #1 on Billboard magazine’s album rock chart.

John Lawhorne: “Second Chance” (1989) became number one on Billboard’s adult contemporary chart. It was sung by Max Carl, now a member of Grand Funk Railroad.
Wikipedia: “Second Chance” (1989), a #1 hit on Billboard’s adult contemporary chart, and sung by former member Max Carl who is now a member of Grand Funk Railroad.

Lawhorne retains the wording of most of his source material — Wikipedia. He breaks up a couple of long Wiki-sentences into two shorter sentences, but retains the exact order of clauses and ideas. The sentences appear just as they do here — in order, with no breaks. That’s a big chunk of someone else’s writing to put your byline on, John.

Oh, he does move one Wikipedia paragraph higher up in his own story.

Lawhorne: The current band lineup includes co-lead singer and guitarist Barnes, co-lead singer and rhythm guitarist Van Zant, guitarist Danny Chauncey, bassist Larry Junstrom, keyboardist Bobby Caps, and drummer Gary Moffatt.
Wikipedia: The current lineup consists of co-lead singer Don Barnes, rhythm guitarist and co-lead singer Donnie Van Zant, guitarist Danny Chauncey, bassist Larry Junstrom, keyboardist Bobby Caps, and drummer Gary Moffatt.

Get Agenda, Insert Typos, Phone It In

Ignore the bad head and go straight to the Staff Writer’s first two sentences: Tonight the Arcadia City Council will give a first reading to an ordinance regulating temporary sales of motor vehicle. The ordinance is to specifies regulations applicable to temporary sales of motor vehicles because of the impact on surrounding land uses.

It’s not the typos that dismay (but see below, anyway). It’s not the prepared agenda decked out with a “staff writer” byline that appalls. It’s not the legalese copied straight from the government e-mail that makes us sigh, or even the writer-induced syntactical chaos. It’s not even the issue — which has generated what passes for controversy in these parts — presented without attribution, without a comment from anyone affected, and without evidence of research or background.

What makes me sad is people who don’t learn from their mistakes. Two weeks ago, John Lawhorne wrote about a proposed ordinance and erroneously called it an ordinance. The newspaper ran a nice correction, pointing out a proposed or draft ordinance isn’t an ordinance until the powers that be vote, count the votes and find a majority in favor.

Here we go again. It’s too much trouble to type the word “proposed.” Who cares? Not DeSoto Sun editors and staff stenographers.

Publisher’s Nephew Has a Bad Day

A few weeks back, the Charlotte Sun’s head headline writer spelled the Nutmeg State with three t’s, tacking the superfluous one on the end: Connecticutt. Old Word Wolf turned the page without comment. It had been blog policy that typos wouldn’t be a source of finger pointing. Since then, unfortunately, things have been going so very wrong in the spelling department that it would be a dereliction of duty to continue that policy.

In other copy desk news …

The annoying lede — “leaf-peeping” — and the pronoun error in the fourth graf — “it’s” instead of “its” — weren’t enough to spike a lame fall foliage feature. Nooo. The Sun runs it twice. It was the top story in the Northern Report roundup yesterday. Today, it’s all the news New Hampshire could produce. It’s not even remotely possible that the local copy desk checked the math of a reporter who thought asking how many leaves fell in the Granite State constitutes journalism. Checking the math would require … well, professionalism.

The AP reporter figures it this way: “The result: 1,400 pounds of leaves per acre … times 2.5 million acres [equals] 1.9 million tons. At a tenth of an ounce per leaf, that’s 609 billion leaves in New Hampshire.”

Actually, it isn’t. 1,400 pounds of leaves per acre multiplied by 2.5 million acres equals 3,650,000,000 pounds of leaves.
10 leaves per ounce amounts to 160 leaves per pound. (I’m skeptical of this figure, but we’ll go with it for now.)
160 leaves per pound multiplied by 3,650,000,000 pounds equals 584,000,000,000 leaves.

The Bear Stops Here

LETTER SUBMISSION POLICY: … Letters will be edited for length as well as grammar and spelling.

Editor:
The Arcadia Golf Course is really in bad shape. Most of the greens have bear stops, the fairways need fertilizing, there are brown and bare spots, fire ant hills are everywhere, fairway and rough, needs treated for fire ants.

And against all recommendations ….
by the Associated Press Stylebook, Merriam Webster’s 11th, and New World: “Slightly cooler temperatures have been forecasted …”

Dear Abby: I Haz Not Copee Editur Bluz

Deer Abby: I know you get alots
of letters from peeple complaining
about there bosses. I’d like to offer some thin a bit different, and maybe briten, yur day. I work as a copy eidter at Charlotte Sun Newspaper and my bosses are the nicest peeple around. They idid not mind that i hated speling in schol. Now I get to rite hedlimes. Hope you like the on I rote for your colum this morning. Betz Wishz: Copee Eitur and Yur Fan.

P.S. I have a intern to tuttor. Today she writez “violent crimes against individuals is down in the first six months of this year compared to last year states a recently released report by Florida Department of Law Enforcement.” Iznt she good!

P.P.S. Im voting for the demicrat for sherrif. Because DeSoto Assistant Editer Hoffman sez to and sheez a good writer to:

Algar has not had direct law
enforcement experience, although she has
training in crime scene investigation
and has worked as an private investigat-
or. Compare that with Wise, who
has 30 years as a law enforcement
officer (including 12 years as the
chief deputy in DeSoto County).
She has some hefty competition.
So why does Algar think she’s
qualified?

Today’s non sequitur:

Help your
Newspaper
get better

by Chris Porter
Editor

In an effort to improve your
paper, the Sun is kicking off a
survey.

Uh, Chris, “kicking off a survey” won’t help “my” newspaper get better. Surveys don’t improve papers. But editing and news judgment might. Today’s raft of readers’ letters to the editor informing us that the Democratic presidential candidate is a Muslim and hangs with terrorists violates of the ethical and factual standards at every legitimate newspaper in the land. Shame on you.

More about that survey:

When the survey is over, we’ll
take all of the participants and
have a drawing for some $50
Publix gift cards

.

Hmm. How to fit all those participants in the hat … ?

And One More Observation: Not only does the pen-wielding editor/writer all but endorse Candidate Wise in the news report, she — the editor — runs a prison-quality mug shot for one and the flag-in-the-background studio pose for her favorite.

Arrow Misses Its Mark, Again

Last week, Charlotte Sun‘s state-map editor moved the state’s fairly famous city of Marathon, centerpiece of the Florida Keys, far from its last known location. This week, the pretty little city of Palm Bay has been relocated from the southernmost shore of Lake Okechobee to oceanside, Vero Beach.

And that headline: Boy arrested after teachers attacked at Palm Bay school.

So, if teachers attacked, why was the child arrested?

OK, we get it, but that doesn’t make it right.

P.S.: The first graf of the story identifies the scene of the mayhem as a Central Florida (caps included) school. Even a lowly page proofreader should have circled that one for checking. Sorry, I forgot: no proofreaders.

Art Attack

Old Word Wolf isn’t a page designer, photographer, illustrator or artist — but she knows what she likes. She likes photos in the morning paper to tell a story (“stand-alone art”) or enhance the reporter’s effort. This morning’s front page art does neither.

In fact, it’s been doctored beyond recognition. Somebody at the Charlotte Sun took a perfectly adequate (if trite, by now) picture of NYSE brokers and dropped out the background. The doctoring eliminated context, created fuzzy black halos around everyone’s heads and hands, and left one guy making an obscene gesture at the empty sky while the middle man watches the finger — is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it art? It certainly isn’t journalism. And what’s with the black patch? What’s supposed to be a snapshot of the Big Board’s Dow-Jones rally, looks like it’s about to fall painfully into the right figure’s forehead. No one’s safe.

SUN PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY AMORETTE ZINDLE Specialist James Denaro, left, handles trades at the post for Morgan Stanley on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, Monday.

All other AP photos describe the guy on the left doing his thing, and none say he did it Monday. In fact, based on the number and variety of similar photos of Denaro released by the AP, I suspect it was taken last week. What the AP cut line says is: “Specialist James Denaro, left, handles trades at the post for Morgan Stanley on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. Monday, stocks rallied…”

Bad editing — on so many levels.

Quotes: Someone Said It. Or Not.

The headline over Charlotte Sun’s top story this morning, an Associated Press piece by Ben Feller, tells readers:
“For Bush, last 100 days to feature ‘no letting up.'” I defy anyone in the tri-county area to read this story and tell me who actually said the administration’s last 100 days would be characterized by “no letting up.” The headline uses this quotation, but no such words appear in the story.

The story’s first quote is President Bush saying he’s got a lot of work do between today [last week] and when the new president takes office. There’s no evidence he said there will be “no letting up.” The story’s second quote, by a Bush staffer: “I suspect the last 100 days are going to feel more like the first 100 days than any of us would have hoped.” That insight, essentially a non sequitur in this piece, isn’t even close to “no letting up.”

And finally, the only other quote is actually a paraphrase rendered without quotes: a staffer expects no drama in the end-time. In three dozen words, he says nothing in particular — and nothing specific about “not letting up.”

I suspect the story may have been trimmed a bit, which doesn’t let the local headline writer off the hook. A headline opinion derives from some source within the story. If it doesn’t, readers must assume it’s the headline writer’s opinion.

There’s a lot in this story that’s weak, soft, mushy and just plain silly (for one thing, it predicts the future), but we’ll stick with the local effort: First: Editors shouldn’t write their opinions into a headline. And: Editors shouldn’t make stuff up. Corollary: Editors shouldn’t use their opinion to make stuff up and then pass it off as someone else’s speech.

Update: The editor e-mails OWW. The AP story moved with the suggested head and the Sun ran it. The problem is, the Sun cut the story from the bottom. The deleted last line reads: Said Gillespie of Bush: “People will not have any doubt that just because he’s at the end of a second term, he’s not letting up at all.”

Cutting the source of the quote is bad. Worse is running the quote without checking it against what the guy said. No, the quote wasn’t fabricated by the local copy desk. But it wasn’t checked, either.